AOC - A Political Discourse 2/26/2019

‍Burt:‍ ‍Hey Ernie, what do you make of all this news about this new “Green Deal”?

‍Ernie: ‍I don’t know. It’s all kind of political and I don’t pay attention to politics. I’m an Independent.

‍Burt:‍ Yeah, but you should see this chick saying these things. She is hot! She has these big eyes and really comes on with her emotions and excitement.

‍Ernie:‍ But what is she saying?

Burt:‍ ‍I don’t know exactly but it has something to do with climate change and all those things which we must do to avoid complete catastrophe in ten years.

‍Ernie:‍ ‍Wow! Is it that close? I didn’t know. Should I be on board?

‍Burt:‍ ‍Yeah, she lays out all these things which we must do. I’m going to get on board. I haven’t heard anything this exciting and cool since I was a sophomore in High School.

‍Ernie:‍ ‍But who is this chick? Why should we be listening to her?

Burt:‍ She is someone who was elected to government last November, I think. She is from New York and used to be a Bartender. Her name is Alexandria Ocasio Cortez.

Ernie:‍ ‍What do you mean “Elected to government”?

‍Burt:‍ ‍She was elected to that branch of government that has more people than another branch. I know it wasn’t the Supremes because they only have ten or twelve members. She was a little confused herself about what the government consists of.

‍Ernie:‍ ‍OK But what is she saying? What must we do to avoid catastrophe?

‍Burt:‍ ‍There are a lot of things we must do. It’s like a kind of a manifesto, whatever that means. Like one of those Communist things from last century. It’s kind of like what this guy named FDR was pushing back when people had no money. It is a “Green New Deal” and will solve all of the problems those conservative goons created.

‍Ernie: That’s cool. But what are some of the things we must do?

‍Burt: There are a lot of things but they all kind of center around getting rid of all fossil fuels, becoming socialist, and grabbing back the undeserved riches that greedy people have accumulated.

‍Burt: Wow! That’s a big order. I thought fossil meant old people – like fossils. I don’t see how old people are related to fuel.  But I kind of like the idea of becoming social. It is good to be friends with all of your neighbors. And those greedy rich people? It’s about time we grab their undeserved money and give it back to the poor people, like me, they’ve robbed it from.

Ernie: Amen, bro. Let me fill you in on some of the details. Number one: we get rid of all fossil fuels in ten years. And since you are unclear about fossil fuels, this means all gas, oil and coal. Everybody knows these fuels are evil and contribute to climate change which will destroy our planet within twelve years. And by the way, all nuclear power plants must go.

Burt: But Ernie, wait a minute. Our entire economy is dependent on fossil fuels. Our magnificent economy, the envy of all nations, would grind to a halt and we would be reduced to burning meadow muffins for heat at night. Would airplanes use windmills, falling water or thermal energy to fly? How would electric cars get their electricity? Where would all the electricity come from that powers every aspect of our lives? Fossil fuels power this electricity. Only a small amount comes from nuclear power but is this, the ultimate source of clean energy, to be banned? 

‍Ernie: Sure there are problems  But when did problems obviate the future?

‍Burt: Obviate? Are you confusing “obviate” with “idiocy”? I’ve also read that cows are to be banned, that all buildings in America are to be converted to clean energy, and that bullet trains will replace airplanes. Are you kidding me?  Cows are mammals just like us. Are we in our flatulence to be banned? Will the government, armed with fart meters, ban those among us with defective sphincters? Can I take a bullet train to France? What will replace my gas powered home furnace and at what cost?  Will I use my Weber grill and left over charcoal to warm my home and cook my bacon? Where will all the money come from to make this pipe dream happen? And what if I don't want to play ball?

‍Ernie: Mellow down, Burt. Every advance has its problems.

Burt: You and this AOC person are clowns. What she is proposing is pure gobbldegook. It is a Sophomoric emotional fairy tale, a dream based on ignorance, a plan devoid of any historic support or substance. Trillions of dollars spent and lost in pursuit of this fantasy will attest to its lunacy. Ernie, get real.

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